Mr. Goodbar and I went shopping last weekend at the new and improved Garden City Shopping Center and because I am broker than dirt and won’t be really be shopping for real ( Disclaimer: Marshalls does not count) any time soon I was able to notice and appreciate other things:
1) As I had my nosed pressed at the window drooling over the spring collection at Anthropologie I realized that something tasted different: I can’t quite put my finger on it but I think they are using a different kind of window cleaner than in the past, hmmm.
2) After trying on about fourty-two different “outfits” at Victoria’s Secret and completely driving the sales woman batty sending her back and forth for “the little leopard number” and “now I’d like to try the feather boa string bikini” just because it’s wrong, I’ve decided that “muffin top” “string” and “feather” anything are simply an absurd combination, and should never ever go any further than a poorly lit dressing room (PS: That sales advice is ON THE HOUSE).
oh and by the way, Shhhhh….I grabbed a few extra of those new sanitary “panties” they have hanging on the wall because they looked so pretty all individually wrapped and who knows when you will need some disposable panties!?- I think they’ll really come in handy, and I love how NO ONE will ever suspect that I have them in my purse where ever I go and I can be that girl who really surprises everyone when the need comes up and someone someday says….”Does anyone by any chance have a pair of disposable panties?”and I can shout “ME!”and rummage around in my bag and triumphantly wave them in the air as I run to the aid of someone in need! God- sometimes I just love how my mind works that way…always thinkin!
3) Starbucks does not have any “samples” of Krispy Kream doughnuts out for tasting which i find OBNOXIOUS. Trying on “outfits” at an overly warm Victoria’s Secret and “window” shopping all day really works up an appetite but the barista did give me a big glass of water (free i might add) which was sooo refreshing! It still did not really help the muffin top visual flashbacks (I wish they had a thing for your eyes that you could just cover them like people do with their ears and say lalalalalalala! so they don’t hear what people are saying when they don’t like it… yeah, I wish I had done that with my eyes.
4) When you don’t have any money open air shopping centers really are just a bunch of open air after all. Except for the panty score, the trip was kind of a bust.