As I settled in to read Magyk last night at bedtime to the kids I noticed as we lay nestled in bed that my daughter was indeed picking her nose again. Now, I’ve tried to really teach my kids that this habit although productive, is also rather disgusting and can get them into trouble later in life because, well… no body really likes to be hanging out with a nose picker ( I have personal experience!)
When I lightly reached over and simply “tapped” her on the elbow so as not to arouse the interest and then teasing of the younger and less compassionate sibling it created quite a stir, and ended up causing even more attention!
“Mommy, I was NOT picking my nose!!!!!” said in her hautiest of voices.
“really Manon? because that’s what it looked like” (this is always the case by the way – she was never doing what I caught her red handed doing and I’ve tried multiple approaches)
“Well I wasn’t and besides! Why were you tapping me! That’s mean!”
“by tapping, I was trying to tell you to get a kleenex without embarrassing you, I am sooo sorry, perhaps you can tell me how you would like me to handle it in the future?”
“But I was NOT doing it. I was simply itching my nose!”
To Myself: does one roll the itch between one’s fingers?
“Manon, just because you were picking your nose it does not mean I don’t love you!”
and on and on it went until she finally broke down sobbing telling me that all the kids in her class think she is “bossy” and now she’s bossy AND a nose picker!
Which led us into an interesting discussion (I’ll give you the adult version)
If you continue to resist, deny or defend something you are doing from anothers point of view than you never have an opportunity to step into another’s shoes to see their point of view, and you never have a chance to realize that sometimes the way we behave and how we use our words and body language says more about who we are and how we are being than the things we think we project about who we are.
So what does picking your nose and integrity have in common? Well… if you are going to do it, then do it with integrity.
That means, if you get caught picking your nose (lying, cheating, fabricating, embellishing, gossiping) … fess up. Then you get rid of all of the fear, upset, and anger that’s associated with getting caught! A simple apology for “messing up” is kind of refreshing. If you are going to “risk” the action, than you must be prepared for the re-action.
Stated another way: If you are going to be a nose picker then be the best nose picker that you can be and do it without apologies, but if you feel you have to make apologies because you realize it really was not the thing to do? Than STOP DOING IT, but don’t make me feel like I’m crazy when I see something with my own eyes, or hear something with my own ears and you say it isn’t so.
THAT’s called CRAZY MAKING, and it causes a lot of damage down the road.