Rainstorms and Rainbows


Tonight I had one of those “divorce” experiences that must be common but that no body ever talks about.

The kids have been with their daddy these past several days (Memorial Day Weekend) and I was super missing them and just wanted to touch their blond heads with my lips and breath them in for a minute… no harm no foul right?

WRONG.

I had this tsunami of emotion wash over me that was so massive I felt like I was drowning for a moment.
There they were, happy faces, love and big mommy hugs and MAN, I miss my whole family.

I miss the times that were so few to begin with … and honestly, the rest are the visions and dreams of our family I created that took root in the womb of my own mind and grew right along with them.  It’s ok to be sad still right?  I wish for the day when I am no longer so saddened by the turn of events in my life, and can choose more naturally and quickly the optimism that is never too far behind the grief…

like the rainbow after the rainstorm.

(Thank you Mr. Goodbar for just holding me and letting me cry… you are my rainbow)

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8 thoughts on “Rainstorms and Rainbows

  1. It takes a long time. . .A very wise woman said to me, holding my hand, looking me square in the eye, “You have to go through the pain to get to the good stuff.” She was right. I was in labor. I felt pain. Look what I got. Good stuff!

  2. Yes. It’s okay to still be sad. It takes a very long time to be able to go to optimism first, but one day it will just happen and you’ll know you’ve walked through the deepest part of it. It really is a process of becoming. A wise woman (my mother) once told me (well, several times actually) “this too shall pass” and it always does.

    Much Love.

  3. be your own rainbow until you know the nature of your own mind. all relationships continue to exist despite “divorce”. we are ALL grieving the loss of our visions. disillusionment is necessary for acceptance and peace. your tears are the rain for your inner light. this post is your rainbow. love and blessings to you, monica.

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