A Call for Love and the Origin of Cyber Bullies

It begins here.

This morning I was reading one of my favorite bloggers posts, by author Emily Laden.  It was about cyber bullying, and it made me super sad.

The post was revealing how middle schoolers are using social networking sites like Facebook without making the distinction between who they are online and who they are in real life.

Her young brother is the object of cyber bullying, and one of the students in his network of “friends” asked his online community to LIKE if you HATE him (UGH!)

57 “Likes” later this poor child must face his haters this Monday morning, and will ( possibly) every morning for the rest of his life (in his wounded heart).  What would you do if this was happening to your child?  What would you do if it was your child who was one of the ones who “Liked” the post?

I remember being bullied and what it feels like… we’ve all been there… haven’t we?
Isn’t that how bullies become bullies in the first place?

I saw a quote the other day that resonates for me:

“The way of the miracle-worker is to see all human behavior as one two things: either love, or a call for love.”― -Marianne Williamson

So what I am struck by here is that there are 57 children who just “outed” themselves as a call for love!

they are calling out – TO US! We, the adults.

Are we failing them?  How is this possible that there are so many that would think it’s ok to openly “hate” someone in a digital setting and then be willing face that other child in a school setting … with their “gang.”

Sticks and stones?  No.

Words kill. They kill our hearts, our spirits, our creativity.

Emotional abuse in it’s most insidious form…..

Are we creating conversations about LOVE at home, and how are we demonstrating that love?  or… are we just not talking?  Are we all simply too distracted by other things that dominate our attention?  email, tv, chores, shopping? I’ll get to that later?

Well… later is coming… and it’s not looking so hot.

Later is coming and all of us can see it’s impact now ( if you care to look) with the political war campaign that’s all over our screens and in our faces everyday.  Lets look at who these middle schoolers are role modeling.  How many adults do you know who openly HATE and align themselves with disrespectful messages that downgrade another’s choices or opinions or feelings.

Who are you aligned with?

Oh… No – I’m not asking you if you are Republican or Democrat.

I’m asking: Are You LOVE?

or A Call For LOVE?

If our words create our reality then we must make the connection that social networking give our words power that are borderless, and can affect and impact THOUSANDS.  When you hit “LIKE” you send a message that can openly align you with thoughts, ideas, love or hate with just the click of a button.  Words hurt people.. and I think it’s these hurt people who, over time , act out their deep pain of rejection in our society… which is what we all hear… everyday on the news and in our communities.

I’d love your feedback and comments.  Please feel free to share this post if you feel there is something worthy of spreading here… 


5 thoughts on “A Call for Love and the Origin of Cyber Bullies

  1. Good morning,

    It is truly sad what goes on out there, it really is. I am a parent of two girls, 4 and 8, and I am petrified of what goes on in our schools with young children. My 8 year old already comes home and tells me how mean the kids are and she is only in the third grade. My partner and I have developed, two years in the making, a program that combats bullying. Our company name is To Be The One and our website is tobetheone.org.. Our site is packed with info and resources and also features a 9 minute, very inspirational video of a school that we just finiched up with.

    If myself or my company can be of any assistance to you or any school out there, please do not hesitate to call me, 774-222-2311 and my email is richbarnes@tobetheone.org.

    Thank you so much for this article and I hope that this article serves as purpose to the school systems of our country to do something about it besides sweep it under the rug..,,,

    Rich Barnes
    V.P. To Be The One

  2. very timely post, Monica. thank you as someone who has child in middle school now. we read this post together & it solidified a very important message for him. we do have these conversations with him often as we’re acutely aware that bullying is the #1 problem in middle school at the moment, which is the reason our vice principal took a leave of absence…SHE needed a break from bullying and became “burnt out”. one thing we can do at home is to keep having these conversations and help our children understand the cry for love and attention as well as give them our love and attention. thank you for bringing this awareness to the digital world. xo

  3. Separate the masses. The sooner a young teen is alone his complete existence has been altered. His desire to belittle will vanquish. My only advise is to separate the powers and disperse them throughout the classroom. Eventually after mixed work groups and one-on-one discussions with “the bullies” the kids may be able to relate to one another in a new way

    • I think this is part of it for sure. I think that our teachings ( or lack) of compassion and empathy also need some attention in the classroom as well as the study of community and what that means. Thank you so much for commenting Emily!

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