Had one of those conversations with my parenting partner today that made me want to bang my head on frozen cement and stick and ice pick up my nose. Ever had one of those?
There are a few hiccups in trying to have an “amicable” divorce. The first is thinking that it’s always going to remain that way… like everything else in life worth having- you have to work at it. There are always “game changers” that come in to threaten the foundation of amicability every once in a while, and although usually worth an attempt at grace- other times I say:
“to hell with it- this is WHY most people can NOT stay amicable so why do I EVEN try????”
But then I come to my senses and think:
“this too will pass”
.. or not.
Here are a few game changers that stick out in my mind….( like the aforementioned ice pick)
1) The Divorce Attorney: regardless of any and all attempts to remain amicable and stay that way, the fact of the matter is that there are some negotiations, actions, adjustments and realities that need to get ironed out that NO ONE is left feeling completely awesome about. There are lots of life changes and adjustments and lots of compromises that need to get made by all parties involved. An Attorney by nature is set up to have the best interest of his/her client so when it comes time to put pen to paper and make everything legal is when usually the apple cart initially goes rogue. This can be a game changer to the best laid plans to stay “friendly.”
2) Two homes = More places for homework to get lost or eaten by the dog.
3) Introduction of children to new partners, a *new girlfriend, or a few. or is it several? what’s the difference between those now?- I always get confused by “a few “or “several” ok, never mind, which ever one is more.
4) A blogging X wife
5) A *new* girlfriend who reads said X wife’s blog and is not “happy” with what she reads (???)
Now, I’m not at all implying that these are actual things that happen to all of us who have worked our asses off to think outside the box on this whole divorce thing….
just the lucky few.