This past weekend I took my kids to Maine to visit their Mim (French nickname for Grandmother).
It’s amazing to experience my mother now- through the eyes of my own motherhood experience. There is simply so much that I understand about her now, that I never would have been able to understand had I not had children of my own. OMG… so much!
When I think about what she was going through when we were little and all of the trials she faced I am completely in awe.
She is a fountain of wisdom- and offers it freely- if only I ask… (I never asked in the past because I had all the answers- ahem) and that she is on my team, and always was… i was just blind, deaf and dumb for a very long period of time.
Sorry mom. I think I’m starting to get it now.
Thanks for your endless patience and perseverance-
Visiting my Mama in Maine with the kids, and just finished catching her up to speed on the recent developments in my life these past few weeks (it took hours and not because i’ve had tons of developments).
When i was younger (last year) I used to hate catching up with my mom because she could never really remember what I had told her from the last conversation so there never seems to be a foundation to build off and i seem to start back with the basics every time.
“So I’m doing this new photography project with Robyn called the…”
“Mom! my next door neighbor?! Robyn!!”
“oh of course, Robyn, and what does she do?”
“She’s the photographer Mom- remember?” (we’ve had this reminder nothing short of 20 times now in addition to an in the flesh visit with the “missing” photographer herself).
“Oooooh yes… Robyn– that’s right she’s the photographer” and she says this as if to convince herself. I know from years of experience that her minds wheels are spinning for some kind of traction on that treacherously icy slope that is her memory and it can go on and on like this as I throw down another handfull of rock salt to get her out of the driveway and on to the tarmac of our conversation. Once that engine is warmed up though and we gain some momentum and it’s away weee goooo!
Until the next time. When she has no memory of it. And we have to start all over.
It makes me crazy cakes.
I love you Mom, but really….
It’s interesting what happens when you photograph women who’ve really not been photographed in a LONG time.
They notice things about themselves they’ve never noticed before. One of the area’s many women comment on are the deepening character lines around their eyes that bring out their beauty, wisdom and transparency.
Those gorgeous enhancements to our features have been EARNED my dear friends.
Personally I look at those women under 30 and think… “wow, sister, you’ve got a long way to go”, and I know they don’t need my pity for their shapeless bodies, flawless skin and perky boobs, but I can’t help it. Clearly they just have not yet lived.
Imagine not knowing what it’s like to wake up from a deep yummy winters sleep bundled deep inside your soft blankets and get vomited on? Or how it feels to hold the precious responsibility of making life work for everyone around you as you set off in the early AM to climb the towering mountain of each precious day with the weight of atlas on your shoulders?
THEY have NO idea what it’s like to be this wonderful wreck of motherhood and be the glowing gorgeous representation for femininity everywhere. They look at us longingly (and don’t think they don’t dear sisters). They covet the very stains on your threadbare out of style jeans, and long for the glorious sheen of your unwashed hair.
Notice next time how they look at you longingly in the coffee shop or grocery store as you clutch the grubby hands of your whining, sullen or unkempt children. Go ahead, glace at them with a mix of pity and contempt and let yourself veritably SWELL dear ladies with fierce pride as you flash your character lines their way. OH YES… that’s what they want.
They want to BE YOU- and don’t you forget it.