Wanna Migrate?

bird

Loyal followers… I wondered if you’d consider migrating over to my other blog and following me there?

I’ve blended the content so that I can continue to write with both voices, and would sure love to have you follow me here:

The Revelation Project Blog

The Revelation Project on Facebook

The Revelation Project on Twitter

and….

Here we are on Pinterest 🙂

My recent diagnosis of ADD comes with some insurance… or is that assurance? Hmmmm… anyways- it means that the treatment has allowed me to focus more and more on my writing, and I’m working to improve . I’d love to invite you along to help me get there.

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Clutch Close This Summer Day

Salty kisses

Puppy lick-es

galloping children

Sunset waves.

Watermelon rinds spent

on star spangled porches

Red, white, blue..

and

green…

green green grass and beach roses

waft

mixed in with kettle corn and carnival

laughter

*pop!*

your prize delivered to outstretched fingers

sticky with happiness

clutch close to your chest

this summer day

as you sleep content

on the ride home

 

 

When Adults Act Like Children

Sometimes this whole life and single parenting thing is really daunting.  I try to handle things as they come up – as gracefully as possible but I have to say that there are times when it all seems like just too much and I just kind of lose it.  My most recent experience of course is one of losing it over a play date miscommunication (STUPID!) and now sitting with my discomfort of losing it. ugh!

Sometimes the universe just sends along a mercury retrograde, knock on wood, murphy’s law, double whammy, don’t let the door hit you on the way out, no holds barred, agro, I think I am going to kill someone or myself moment.  Recently I’ve felt like a disaster recovery Ninja.  Faced with all kinds of really sensitive moments with friends, family, work, and projects  i’ve been able to get through them without losing my sense of balance and feeling like I have offered my very best in the moment. Apparently I was busy patting my own back having just narrowly escaped hurricane Irene when hurricane Monica blew through New England without much advanced notice- I mean, do these weather clowns actually make a living at this?

KABOOM! All it really took was a miscommunication + friendship + family ties and all my triggers finally went off.  Bad behavior all around but of course as always I am hardest on myself.  What could I have done differently? How can I make it better? Why do I feel so misunderstood and unconsidered?  These are some of the storm surges that still plague me.  I wish my friends have given me the benefit of the doubt and known that something must have really been bothering me given my behavior but as they mentioned- they don’t have mental telepathy.  Damn. I hate that, and like all good hurricanes there are always casualties and just for the record I hate that too.  To those that supported me through both storms… I really appreciated it, and love you dearly.

 

 

 

 

 

What Picking Your Nose and Integrity Have in Common

As I settled in to read Magyk last night at bedtime to the kids I noticed as we lay nestled in bed that my daughter was indeed picking her nose again.  Now, I’ve tried to really teach my kids that this habit although productive, is also rather disgusting and can get them into trouble later in life because, well… no body really likes to be hanging out with a nose picker ( I have personal experience!)

When I lightly reached over and simply “tapped” her on the elbow so as not to arouse the interest and then teasing of  the younger and less compassionate sibling it created quite a stir, and ended up causing even more attention!

“Mommy, I was NOT picking my nose!!!!!” said in her hautiest of voices.

“really Manon? because that’s what it looked like” (this is always the case by the way – she was never doing what I caught her red handed doing and I’ve tried multiple approaches)

“Well I wasn’t and besides! Why were you tapping me! That’s mean!”

“by tapping,  I was trying to tell you to get a kleenex without embarrassing you, I am sooo sorry, perhaps you can tell me how you would like me to handle it in the future?”

“But  I was NOT doing it. I was simply itching my nose!”

To Myself: does one roll the itch between one’s fingers?

“Manon, just because you were picking your nose it does not mean I don’t love you!”

and on and on it went until she finally broke down sobbing telling me that all the kids in her class think she is “bossy” and now she’s bossy AND a nose picker!

Which led us into an interesting discussion (I’ll give you the adult version)

If you continue to resist, deny or defend something you are doing from anothers point of view than you never have an opportunity to step into another’s shoes to see their point of view, and you never have a chance to realize that sometimes the way we behave and how we use our words and body language says more about who we are and how we are being than the things we think we project about who we are.

So what does picking your nose and integrity have in common?  Well… if you  are going to do it, then do it with integrity.

That means, if you get caught picking your nose (lying, cheating, fabricating, embellishing, gossiping) … fess up.  Then you get rid of all of the fear, upset, and anger that’s associated with getting caught!  A simple apology for “messing up”  is kind of refreshing.  If you are going to “risk” the action, than you must be prepared for the re-action.

Stated another way: If you are going to be a nose picker then be the best nose picker that you can be and do it without apologies, but if you feel you have to make apologies because you realize it really was not the thing to do?  Than STOP DOING IT, but don’t make me feel like I’m crazy when I see something with my own eyes, or hear something with my own ears and you say it isn’t so.

THAT’s called CRAZY MAKING, and it causes a lot of damage down the road.

A Video of Gratitude: Thank You

Last Sunday I was looking through the many photos of the women who have taken part in The Revelation Project these last two months.  I was so overwhelmed with gratitude for somehow stumbling into this whole thing that all i could do was listen to the song ‘Thank You” by Alanis Morissette over and over… and then somehow was able to put this video together to capture what I wanted to express.

Thank you to all of you who’ve been willing, all of you who’ve been touched by this, and all of you who’ve continued to follow our progress.  I can’t even tell you how much it’s impacted me and infused every part of my world. My thoughts, my conversations, even my dreams.

I hope you enjoy the show….

Revelation Project Part VI: Sarah Fernandez

I’ve known Sarah for a few years now, and never realized that she is incredibly shy around the camera.

She gives the impression that nothing ever phases her, and has the ability to maintain a level head in some of the most frightening circumstances (…she used to work for me, trust me, frightening!) When she arrived with her sister Meg to be photographed for the project she seemed a little nervous and when the camera came out, she looked like she wanted to vanish-  “form of: INVISIBLE!”  but alas… this project is about being seen not about disappearing. Because part of the agreement is to have your photographs published on face book I’ve heard lots of feedback that Sarah’s photo’s were inspring for many women who saw them.  I found her interview answers just as inspiring so I’ve pasted them below in addition to some of her photos ( for those who missed them.)

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Would you tell us a little bit about yourself?

Ever since I was very young, I’ve had four goals: get married, have children, own a house and have my own business. At 34 I now have all of those things, but the last one, my interior and event design company and blog, Chateau & Bungalow, is still in its very early stages and I’m trying to figure out how to make it what I want it to be while working several other jobs, taking care of my two kids and getting the bills paid.

What is the biggest challenge that’s ever faced you as a woman?

I would probably have to say body image. I’ve never let anyone tell me that I couldn’t do something because I am a woman, but I’ve always struggled with being happy with the way I looked. In high school I remember thinking I was so fat even though I was a varsity athlete and was 30 lbs lighter than I am now. Now it’s my goal to look like that again!

Are you a mom?

Yes, I have an almost 5 year old son, Teddy and a 2 year old daughter, Carolina.

What are some of the issues that you think are important to explore as it relates to our gender?

I think most importantly, we need to look at how much woman really do in this day and age. It’s no joke that we should all be running around with super hero capes on. While there has been a shift over the past several decades of men becoming more involved in child rearing and even becoming stay at home dads, most of the women I know are doing all of the scheduling for their families, arranging for childcare, paying the bills, cleaning the house, grocery shopping and much more, all while working part or full time jobs and trying to squeeze in some quality time with their husbands, children and friends. It’s no wonder that we take care of ourselves last.

What’s your idea of a great “girls night?”

Hanging at someone’s house with a lot of wine, a lot of laughs, no place to go and no kids interrupting.

Is there anything in particular that made you feel like being part of the Revelation Project was a good idea right now?

I know I have the talent to do what I want to do, but after mostly being a stay at home mom for the past 2 years, I’ve really struggled with projecting the image I want when I rarely wear make-up, am living in the same pair of jeans each day, and am not really happy with the way I look.

About the shoot: What did you think about the approach of the upcoming photo shoot (before you got there) and what were the results you were expecting?

I always love the idea of having great photos taken, typically with my family, but in the end I’m not usually happy with the way I look in them (back to that body image issue). But, I really needed some new head shots for work so I was just hoping I’d get one decent shot and I’d be happy.

How did you feel during the shoot and was there anything in particular that made you feel more or less relaxed or open to the process?

I wasn’t really nervous during the shoot, but I hate posing for pictures so it took me a while to find my comfortable spot. It helped that I knew Monica so well and my sister was there so there were a lot of laughs. And by the time I left, I felt like I’d known Robyn forever even though we’d only met a handful of time. It was the closest thing I’d had to a girl’s night in a while.

Can you describe in three words the way you felt before we shot?

Anxious. Excited. Tense.

Three words for after ?

Anxious. Excited. Relaxed.

Three words for when you saw the results ?

Happy. Excited. Surprised.

After you left but before you saw the results – did you have any thoughts about the experience?  What were some of the things you thought about on the drive home?

We had such a fun afternoon that the session itself had put me in a good mood. I felt good and confident that there were going to be some good pictures, but there was still that little voice in the back of my head warning me not to get over-confident.

When you saw the results can you tell me your first impression?

I was really excited because I finally had photos that projected the image I wanted for my business.

Can you talk about the feedback you received from those who saw your photographs?

I’ve had such an outpouring of compliments from people. It’s been overwhelming, but it feels great.

Did you learn anything new about yourself from the experience?

I realized I had crow’s feet! But there is a reason this is called The Revelation Project. I was thrilled that there were some great pictures, and it wasn’t that I was really upset that I had crow’s feet, but it was the first time that I really saw myself as an adult, which probably sounds crazy considering that I’m married, have two kids, and a lot of years of working behind me. It made me realize that I’m in the part of my life that I always looked forward to, and I need to start paying more attention to it and soak it all in before it passes me by.

Did you feel empowered? Why?  Why not?

Yes, it made me feel like I now I had proof that I am a beautiful person with style and that I could now put these images out there for people to see the person behind my business. I think it’s hard to be in a business that’s about style if you don’t walk the part too.

Since the shoot happened more than four weeks (yikes) ago now can you talk about the lasting impact of the experience?  Has it altered the way you view yourself or your surroundings?

Well, the revelations about the time of my life that I’m in certainly will have a lasting effect, and one that I’m so happy I realized now before it was too late. But in addition to that, I never liked being the center of attention. I wouldn’t say that I do now, but I’m not as nervous about it anymore. Two weeks after this shoot, I had the chance to go to NYC for a photo shoot with my kids for my job as a writer for TLC’s new parenting blog, Parentables. Normally, I would have been a nervous wreck, but because I knew that it was possible for great photos to be shot, it just seemed easy. I couldn’t believe how relaxed I was about it, even being on video. I think that it has given me a new confidence that will lead to great things.

Do you think this was an important/valuable experience for yourself? Why?

Most definitely! I think it should be something we all do once a year just like going to the doctor for a physical. No matter how confident or beautiful we feel or don’t feel, it’s always good to take a step back and really look at who we are and where we want to go next. I think it helps us move forward.

Do you think it’s relevant for other women?  Why?

I think it’s invaluable to all women. When Monica first posted the images that she and Robyn shot of each other, I picked up the phone and called her and told her I thought they should be doing it for every girl out there. Young girls and women too are bombarded with images of impossibly thin models and movie stars who endure hours of hair and make-up before they are photographed that it is crazy that we expect them to have a healthy body image. I’m sure that’s part of the reason that I never did. For years, I’ve thought that girls should have a chance to do a photo shoot like the models in magazines so that they could have beautiful pictures of themselves too. This is a much more affordable way to achieve that, and it’s better because Monica and Robyn make sure that the results really look like the person and show people’s beautiful personalities too.

How would you use the photos moving forward? Professionally? Personally? As gifts?

I will definitely be using them professionally, and my husband, who didn’t really understand the whole idea when I first explained it to him, now wants to have a bunch of them printed and framed for around the house too.

What is your favorite song and why?

That’s a really hard question! There are so many. I guess I would say the one that makes me happy every time I hear it is “Into the Mystic” by Van Morrison. It brings back all the happy memories of the summers I spent growing up in Newport (because it was on every mix tape we ever made in the 90s!) and it was the song my husband and I danced to at our wedding.

If you could sum up the experience what would you say?

Brilliant!

The Revelation Project Part V: Tami Silver

Tami Silver had so much fun at the photo shoot, her enthusiasm was infectious.  Dancing, singing, and laughing pretty much sums up the shoot and we got some great candid’s that just captured her joy, and her appreciation of the moment. There is just something to be said for all that attention – I’m pretty sure it’s akin to watering a plant that’ *parched*.

Having now photographed several women, I am always so moved by how each and every woman has her own unique essence that just comes out in the photographs.  “She” ( any woman)  can show up here any number of ways: shy, quiet, nervous, anxious, excited, spastic, etc and no matter what…. settle into herself and “get it done” – I simply marvel at all of us… I really do. We are just an AMAZING species!  Tami Silver- My favorite thing about you is your smile. It’s like a cardiac defibrillatorbang! .

The following questions were posed and the following was Tami’s response ( PS: We’ve changed up the questions in the next interview to keep it fresh 🙂

MR: What did you think about the approach of the upcoming photo shoot (before you got there) and what were the results you were expecting?

TS: I was really nervous-I have never been comfortable in front of the camera-I can be laughing and having fun, then someone takes out a camera and I instantly feel self-conscious and my smile feels fake and wooden.  I rarely like photos of myself-I can probably count on one hand the number of photos I like of myself-and they are mostly baby pictures.  I know Robyn well and I knew she would make it fun-but I did not expect to like the photos-I was prepared to be embarrassed, uncomfortable and disappointed.


MR: How did you feel during the shoot and was there anything in particular that made you feel more or less relaxed or open to the process?

TS: The moment I got to there I felt relaxed-Robyn and Monica are such real individuals; it made me feel at ease.  Monica sat me down and put make up on me (I rarely wear makeup)-she had such a gentle touch-it was so relaxing and it was fun to be the center of attention, I felt very pampered.  You can really feel the great report, friendship and professional working relationship between Robyn and Monica; they made me feel like I was a part of something special, they were there to get me in my best light-they made wonderful suggestions for what to wear, ways to position myself-and they played great music, that really loosened me up.


MR: Can you describe in three words the way you felt before we shot?

TS: Pretty. Darn. Nervous.

MR: Three words for after?

TS: Ready for anything

MR: Three words for when you saw the results

TS: Is that me?


MR: After you left but before you saw the results – did you have any thoughts about the experience?  What were some of the things you thought about on the drive home?

TS: I needed to leave to go to an appointment and I was bummed-I wanted to stay-I was having so much fun-I felt like a rock star.  The time flew by-I never felt judged by Robyn or Monica-I felt beautiful and happy.

MR: When you saw the results can you tell me your first impression?

TS: I was at a friend’s house when Robyn told me they were up-I was instantly nervous-I wanted to be alone with them for a while-just get used to seeing them-it took a few days, I would look at them whenever I had a moment to myself-I needed to get used to seeing myself.  Now I show them to anybody and everybody.


MR: Can you talk about the feedback you received from those who saw your photographs?

TS: Everyone has loved them-my mom wants to order a bunch-she has wanted me to do something like this for a while.  My sisters want to be next-but they live in California.  It has been very flattering to get so many compliments.

MR: Did you feel beautiful during the shoot? Why? Why not?

TS: Yes I did-Robyn and Monica were very complimentary and very genuine-they really put me at ease-they are both so naturally beautiful, inside and out-it was easy to feel beautiful in their presence.


MR: Did you feel empowered? Why?  Why not?

TS: Yes I felt very empowered, it was liberating. To be the center of attention is a powerful feeling, not in a self-involved way, but just to celebrate you-how often do we get a chance to do that?

MR: Since the shoot happened almost a month ago now can you talk about the lasting impact of the experience?  Has it altered the way you view yourself or your surroundings?

TS: Yes, I feel a lot more comfortable around a camera now-I used to view the camera as almost an enemy, out to get me-not everyone is going to capture me as beautifully at Robyn and Monica, but I feel like a have a more realistic idea of what I really look like-and I am happy with me.  I feel more comfortable in my own skin, a have found a new sense of confidence in myself.


MR: Do you think this was an important/valuable experience for yourself? Why?

TS: Yes, it was one of the high lights in my life-to get some photographs of myself that I like-I feel like we, as woman spend so much time encouraging other people–telling them how beautiful and wonderful they are-it was nice to feel like I had permission to do something special just for me.

MR: Do you think it’s relevant for other women?  Why?

TS: I would like to convince every woman I know to do this.  To celebrate who you are right now-it is a real gift to give yourself. We all should celebrate who we are at any age.  I feel so lucky to have done this.  All too often we think about something like this, and say, well, if I lose 5 pounds, or when I get my hair done, etc-just do it now-embrace who you are right now.


MR: How would you use the photos moving forward? Professionally? Personally? As gifts?

TS: I would like to have some prints made for myself-and my family wants some-I know I cherish these images for the rest of my life.

MR: If you could sum up the experience what would you say?

TS: Fantastic experience, I think this Revelation Project that Robyn and Monica have started is a brilliant idea-something that is life changing in a positive way for anyone that experiences it.  I hope this continues to grow and that more women will take the time to celebrate their beauty.  The thing that has been the most striking about all the photos of the women who have been photographed for this project is what you see in their eyes-incredible.


Revelation: Friendship

Soooo,  I was always Farrah Fawcett (Kris Munroe) In Charlie’s Angels when we played as kids. If I could not be her, I just wasn’t gonna play. end.of.story.

I always wanted a gun too, but it’s quite fortunate for my Wasband that I never had one, because he’d be, well, shot (insert happy smiley face).

I envied the friendships that those women had, you know – the three of them; Kelly, Kris, and Sabrina risking their very lives for each other.  Yet somehow in real life three of us never really worked out because someone always got creepy and went home crying. It was usually Sabrina (bet it was the hair cut- just sayin’).

Back then I really did not realize how true it is that a good girlfriend really can save your life for real.  I’ve had a few- and you know who you are.  These are the women in my life I’d honestly take a genuine bullet for… really I would.  There is always the occasional one who gets creepy now and again, but for the most part – i would not trade them in for anything or anyone. else. ever.

I hope every woman reading this ridiculous blog has that special friend in their life who’s taken a hit for you, stood up for you when you can’t find the strength, or just plain been there to laugh hysterically with when there just isn’t much else one can do.

The Revelation Project on Facebook

As of this morning I’m just loving our new facebook page and so excited this project is official.  We’ve got booking open now for April, and a few slots are already taken so please contact us for more info at rodgers107@cox.net

Just published pictures of Sarah…. Check them out and while you visit – please friend us!

This one is my personal favorite… i just look at her laughter and want to smile.  She’s the bomb.