PMS = PACK MY SUITCASE

When am I going to learn that PMS means:

PACK. MY. SUITCASE.

But No.

No.

Instead it’s like the reoccurring mysterious behavioral phenomenon every month and when it finally arrives I’m all:

“Ooooooh so Thhhhhats why I was such a psycho last week!”

(insert mortified remorse as I flash back to the week in detail… oh, those poor poor people.)

Ok so seriously?  You’d think I’d have a routine down here- you know- every month for the past 28 years like clock work (except for 2-3 of those years when i was pregnant/nursing)   You think maybe i’d have a plan in place to deal with the “situation”- you know, in case it should arise.

NO

Nope.

Instead,  I use the week before to simply wonder if perhaps I might be going crazy….  ?

I use the time to be completely reactionary and practice new and more creative ways of losing my grip.

RE action ZONE. Proceed with extreme caution.

Common scenarios and thoughts (one might refer to as clues) that cycle through my head the week before:

“Wow,  I wonder why I am soooo hungry today?- I feel like I could just eat the entire house” (Run kids run for your lives before you get eaten toooo!)

“No one appreciates me – I’m outta here!” (I could just pack my bags right now and leave!- that would show them!)

“I’m soooo tired and I think i need to take a….. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz”  “just putting the kids to bed honeyZzzzzzz”

“I am NOT being irrational! I’m NOT! It was MY box of Nutter Butters! MINE!- you hear me?!!”

“Did she just cut me off?  Dirty Whore!!!”

” WAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH… that commercial is so. so. sad.- it just gets me every time!”

“Are you done with that doughnut?”

“I have such a headache- it’s like a migrane – I wonder if i am coming down with something?” (taking my temperature every 20 minutes)

“I love you”
“I HATE you!”

TURN DOWN THE MUSIC! Is everyone DEAF?

Don’t look at me in that TONE!!!!

So… there are in fact a few red flags you know?  but no, every month there is like a big surprise party to mark it’s murderous arrival.

Wait!

Why am I bleeding? !!!!

Oh, is it already that time of month?

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The Revelation Project: Part I

It’s pretty easy for us women to forget who we are or wanted to be after years of care taking,  raising a family, or just plain years later.

For many of us – it’s not that our husbands or boyfriends don’t make us feel beautiful or worthy of worship but that we don’t quite feel the part ourselves. Then there are those of us who have never really seen the inherent beauty of our selves for who we are and the expressions and attributes that are uniquely ours- making us each individually and uniquely beautiful. We sometimes get lost along the way to the land of low self esteem, resignation, cynicism, and self criticism ( I visit this land way too often).

My neighbor Robyn Ivy is an incredibly accomplished photographer who like many of us on the outside- look like we have it all handled.   Mother of two, recently divorced, smart, talented, lovely, insightful and pee your pants funny had just recently hit that wall we all eventually press our nose against.  The wall of : STUCK, UGLY, UNATTRACTIVE, OVERWHELMED, OUT of SHAPE, and just plain SICK OF ME.  She marched over to my house with an armload of clothing and her camera and said “SHOOT ME”.

Because great minds think alike we embarked on a photo odessy that was aimed directly at getting relief through humor, make- up, and good girlfriend snarkiness and although both of us snickered our way through the various poses and and contrived sprawls-  something entirely different actually ended up happening.

Licking her self inflicted ( aren’t most?) wounds, I documented Robyn as we played with different ideas and looks only to end with astonishing results.

Now- of course we went through the photo’s and edited them and laughed and giggled and snorted, but the process itself was quite remarkable because it provided a catharsis that went far deeper than either of us imagined.   The entire process, as well as the outcome had truly empowered her and gave her back something she felt she had lost somewhere along the way: herself.

In the weeks that followed the results of the shoot had a lasting effect, a kind of “balancing” effect and for some reason gave Robyn permission to hit the “reset” button and take inventory of the things she wanted to accomplish.  Somehow seeing herself in the photos allowed her to step OUT of her head and see herself in a way she desperately did not even know she needed.

Since then, we’ve gone on to get similar if not more powerful results from the subsequent women we have photographed.  I’ll continue to post the results as well as a few interviews over the course of the next few weeks and you can see and hear for yourselves the kind of impact this project has made on each of these women.

After some discussion we decided to call this “process” something that we would continue to develop and we decided on the name The Revelation Project because in the process – something gets found, unveiled, or revealed that was not available BEFORE.  Hard to explain so again…. I’ll let them try to explain through the interviews we’ve collected ( to be posted soon!)

Here are the photos of Robyn taken that day. I’d love to hear your feedback to the project, the photos and the concept.